Run, Nicole Run!

I am crazy! I ride a road bike once and now I am having delusions of grandeur that I am going to be a triathlete. And yet here I go doing mad internet research, looking up books and adding them to my amazon list and the kicker...getting up at 6:15 am this morning and going for a run! My life is so complicated right now and I decide to add all of this...

But I am. Biking, running and swimming my way to somewhere. I guess its time. I am sick of admiring other people for the cool things they do...I decided I needed to start doing them myself. I have a long way to go. I am 40 lbs overweight and completely out of shape but somehow I am going to do it. And when I say "it"...right now that just means riding my bike, running and taking a swim at least once a week (obviously not all at the same time). I don't have a particular race in mind quite yet. I just want to see myself maintain some consistency in working out.

My obligation stems from my crazy announcement on Facebook. I feel as bad as if I drunk dialed an ex-boyfriend (who is on my friends list by the way, ugh). How can I possibly disappoint 218 of my closest friends and family? Facebook should develop a pending list for those people, like me, who may need to mull things over before we hit "publish" Maybe that's why I like blogging. I admit that I hit "publish" before I proof my posts. Sorry for that. I feel my blog should be raw, pure, true me. And the raw, pure, true me isn't perfect so why should my post be perfect? I doubt I will become famous for blogging. I think my husband is the only person who reads my posts anyway. (thank you honey) So watch out, imperfections might run a muck!

I think the bigger question is how do I feel now that I have embarked on this crazy journey? In a word, good. Honestly this spur of the moment decision has been bubbling under the surface. For me, as with anything in my life, there are a handful of emotions tied to every decision. Can anyone make decisions void of emotions? I am tired of being "fat" I know, I went and used the "f" word but it rolls off the tongue so easily. I have always been the "f" girl. Maybe people didn't actually say it to my face but I know they were thinking it. Granted I am not obese. I was the nice girl with the pretty face. Well I am done being that girl.

Oh I know this is all so cliche! There has got to be a bad 80's movie about this. Fat girl hates self. Fat girl likes boy. Boy likes skinny girl. Fat girl gets mad. Fat girl gets skinny. Fat girl wins over boy.

Unfortunately, part of my story is about fat girl. Of course, I want to rip out the pages and burn them so I can re-write the ending. I got lucky. I ended up with Prince Charming (aka: the boy) regardless, but this isn't about getting boys to like me. Its about me liking me. About being comfortably in my own skin. About being confident in my abilities. About riding my own horse into the sunset. Slaying my own dragon. Why do we need Prince Charming again?

Well my delusions of grandeur have me writing cliches. My brain must be friend. Where was I? I feel good. I was able to see the sun rise this morning. The soft pinks and cold blues of the light on the clouds. The crisp bite of the cool air. The sound of the Boise river rushing against the banks and the sweet chirps and calls of the birds. The morning was welcoming me. Calling me into action and it felt good to heed her call. I felt empowered by the trees and the squirrels. My mind wandering to the places I will go if I can just keep one foot in front of the other. Sigh. It was good.

And it was icing on the cake to get a text from Prince Charming saying, "Run Nicole, Run!"

Ok Prince Charming...watch out here I come.