Happy Halloween!

Boo! Oh how I love Halloween! I have loved this night ever since I can remember celebrating it. When I was young, it was all about the ability to dress up in costumes and of course, the candy, but as I become an adult I started liking the possibilities a cold dark night could offer your imagination (and I still liked the candy!)

I struggled with who I wanted to be when I was a kid (as I still do as an adult...hmm) and I loved that for one night I could be something other than myself. I had all the confidence in the world for this one day because I didn't have to be Nicole, instead I was a princess or a witch or my personal favorite an escaped mental patient.

So here is to the night of possibilities...Happy Halloween!

What are your favorite Halloween memories?

Ingrid Rocks!

"I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok. I just want to be ok today..." This was one of the last songs I heard when I went to see Ingrid Michaelson at the Knitting Factory this Friday night. Can I just say Ingrid rocks! I am not a frequent concert goer but when one of my favorite artists comes to play in a small venue you have to go.

Ingrid is just super fun and unpretentious on stage. She told a very funny story of Leanne Rimes tweeting her about her music and made up a silly song about famous people noticing her. The whole night was her just being goofy and very real on stage. She played a very interesting version of "Toxic" by Brittany Spears that just made it a different song completely.

I am not a music connoisseur like some people but I have an idea or two about what makes good music. I love music that has good lyrics and a catchy beat. Some could argue about a whole lotta music that may seem to fit that criteria that doesn't but I am not here to debate music, rather to share some music that is interesting, at least to me.

What is your favorite singer or concert memory?

Without further ado here is a sampling of some music by Ingrid Michaelson:

Bye Bye Sugar Part 2

I hang my head low while writing this post. Some of you know I did not make my sugar fast until October 23, instead I had a very wonderful chocolate cake and every single bite was heaven. I unfortunately fell off the wagon long before that time. It doesn't help when you have a friend's wedding, travel back home and a birthday. Oh and did I mention my mother-in-law stayed with us for over a week. I love her but she is a sugar enabler.

But now those times are over and its time to move forward again. I have to admit a deep dark secret: sugar makes me feel bad when I eat it. I know. The fist few bites of something sticky and decadent are sublime indeed but by the time I finish the pillowly concoction I am already starting to feel bad. An hour later I just can't shake the sense of unease. It's not always something so obvious as a stomach ache. Sometimes it comes to me in the form of a headache and low energy. I get the sudden urge to run 5 miles just so I can purge my system. My body is trying so hard to tell me something, but my mind has been hijacked by the sugar. Someone's got to step in!

I am going to work hard at banishing sugar from my diet until Thanksgiving this time (which is less than a month away). It seems so stupid but my sugar fast is more important than ever as I am trying to eat a low glycemic diet. Of course, nothing will stop me from eating a piece of pumpkin pie. It's probably one of my favorite things to eat. I also plan on going for a long hike on Thanksgiving morning to help mitigate the mass food consumption that happens on that fateful day. I also tend to eat a VERY light breakfast and lunch.

Wish me luck!

Here's to getting back on the wagon...even though I fell off and was running to catch up! I wonder what are some of the things that other people struggle with and how do they conquer those demons? I would love to know that I am not alone. :)

Green Thumb Where Are You?

The air is crisp and the leaves are slowly turing from green to gold to red and unfortunately so are the leaves to my tomato plants! It was harvest time here at Red Dog Ranch (well if I had a ranch that's what I would call it, but for now that's the nick name for my garden). This was our first year ever growing food that we planned to eat. It was definitely a learning experience and unfortunately in a year, that we have heard, was not that bountiful. Slightly comforting.

The list of our mistakes goes on: Scott pruned the tomato bushes too much, we forgot to research organic pest control, our dogs invaded and we planted all the wrong things in all the wrong places. The victories were few and far between: the strawberries did exceptionally well and even have started to grow outside the garden box and the thyme, oregano, sage and rosemary were unstoppable! I have more onions that I even know what to do with! (Can you freeze them?)

I need to learn how to do canning and drying. Anyone have any recommendations? I am not going to lie, I am a bit intimidated and a bit baffled on how I am supposed to find the time, but damn it, I am trying to run an urban farm here. :)

Now its time to take a break, brainstorm and come up with new ideas. I think I need to read Animal, Vegetable Miracle one more time as well as the countless gardening magazines I have accumulated during the spring. I think a gardening class may even be in order too! And maybe, just maybe I can be bragging about the summer bounty come this time next year.

Until then I will comfort myself with the last few bits of thyme and oregano.

PCOS

I have PCOS. Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I was just diagnosed on September 20th. In some ways having the diagnosis was a huge relief. Ever since April of this year I have suffered from deep depression, weight gain, mood swings, bloating, head aches and sleepless nights. I was so miserable and fast approaching the end of my rope. Many doctors told me it was basically all in my head until I met Tammy Hadfield. She was the first doctor to tell me I wasn't crazy. She is an amazing doctor and I have all the confidence that together we will make me well and healthy again.

I won't die from PCOS but I have to very much change my life. If I leave the disease unmanaged I could develop Type II diabetes, heart disease or stroke. I may never be able to have children, although many people with PCOS do.

I am feeling overwhelmed. I hate to say it because its so vain, but the weight gain is out of control which is often the case with PCOS people. I fully admit that I am not eating as well as I should but in my defense I have had a wedding, travel back home to Tucson and my birthday to contend with and who can really say no to chocolate birthday cake? But the reality is I feel awful.

I am blessed with an amazing husband who sacrificed all of our holiday money to pay for the reinstatement of my gym membership. He is amazing! Day one back at the gym was yesterday and thankfully was an easier class. Today will be BodyPump which is all about weight lifting. Ugh! I keep telling myself its all worth it. I even like working out but knowing I have no choice just makes it feel harder than it has to be.

Right now I am hating the way I look and inside I hate the way I feel. Its a no win situation. I know all the hard things in life are accomplished one day at a time, but I wish I could see bigger changes. I do have to admit that the hormone I am taking is making me feel much better. The metformin is still making me feel bad most days but I hope it is helping my insulin levels. Sigh. I will conquer this, but right now I feel like a mouse battling a lion.

Hello 30!

Where does the time go? I am not really helping myself live a simpler life if I keep saying yes to everything therefore creating an impossibly busy schedule and allowing myself no time for anything, including writing in my blog. So not living my motto! But I did receive a lot of feedback from friends who read my blog and actually noticed when I didn't write. Someone is out there paying attention. Now if only they would share with their friends. :)

This past weekend I celebrated what was for a long time the dreaded 30th birthday. It's now official. There is nothing like starting out a new decade in life to put you into that new-year's resolution kind of mind. I feel like I should be writing the top 10 things I want to do in my 30's or some personal manifesto. The 30's somehow feel more important to me than my two previous decades. I promise if I do come up with a top ten list or a personal manifesto I will share.

I started blogging for many reasons but I think most importantly to provide myself an outlet where I could have a dialogue with the larger world (like anyone is reading but one could hope). My personal struggle in life is my knack for complicating everything. Not in the annoying I am a pain-in-someone's-ass sort of way but in a I feel the need to think about and analyze everything in my life sort of way. I refrain, most of the time, from sharing that inner dialogue with anyone. Regardless, I feel that inner dialogue has given me some plain and simple truths about my life, but maybe for someone else's too.

Take for instance my birthday. It is the simple gestures that mean the most. My good friend Jen and I call each other "dude" It I had found the perfect birthday card that in the inside said "Happy Birthday Dude" I sent it to her and she couldn't resist sending it to me. The minute I opened the card I couldn't stop smiling.

My amazing husband took me to a philharmonic presentation of Star Wars, bought me my favorite chocolate cake and arranged a manicure and pedicure with my two closest friends. I didn't want diamonds, copious amounts of alcohol or a big party. It was simple things strung together to make the most amazing day.

Now when I hear the opening theme of Star Wars, or a dive into the luscious layers of a chocolate cake I will see Jen and Scott's faces smiling back at me. The memories of that day are priceless and no gift no matter how grand could ever compare.