Tomorrow is a big day. Its my very last day at my job. A job that I have loved (and on some days hated) but nonetheless has made me grow as a person. I have always thought about going to graduate school but suddenly I am on the cusp of actually making that change. Like all change, its a bittersweet mix of excitement and sadness.
I am getting little butterflies fluttering around in my tummy as I think of my new journey. I had a very productive and exciting meeting with one of the schools I am applying to this past weekend. I feel really good about this new venture into the world of books, databases and people. I am headed to the place where I belong, the library.
My life continues to be one surprise after another. Never in a million years would I have guessed where I am now in my life. Its a sweet spot being on the precipice of this new adventure. It makes me wonder what could possibly be around the corner for me!
Here's to making things complicated and wonderful all at the same time!
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Maybe Simplicity Just Is'nt my Gig
I have been doing a lot of thinking about my motto, "I am a complicated person in constant pursuit of simplicity" Often I feel this line is a bit of a joke. I am indeed a complicated person but rarely do I find myself in constant pursuit of simplicity. Quite honestly, its seems, I do the exact opposite.
Case in point. I just quit (well my last day is August 31) my full time job (working in the environmental movement which I had dreamed of doing for a long time) in the middle of the biggest economic downturn since the Great Depression. I decided to go back to graduate school to become a librarian (because deep in my soul that is what I am). I still have all my real-life responsibilities like mortgage payments, electric bills and groceries. Not to mention the 12 pets (3 dogs, 3 parrots, 5 chickens and a canary) that I am responsible for and the burgeoning homestead I am trying to create in my backyard. Oh, I almost forgot, I also want (well I constantly flip flop on this one because I am scared and thrilled by the idea all at the same time) to have a baby during all of this hullabaloo. And, AND...my dear sweet husband (who supports and at times even encourages this lunacy) is gone about half the time since he is an airline pilot so all of this craziness is mostly left for me to coordinate.
Does that sound simple to you?
Yeah, me neither and hence why I feel my motto is being a bit hypocritical. Maybe, just maybe the simple life is overrated? I suppose by saying I was in constant pursuit of simplicity I meant that I was looking for balance in my complicated life not necessarily a simple life. I have to be honest, I gravitate to the complicated (and more importantly I need to admit to myself that I like it). My complicated life makes me feel that I am living my life to the fullest. I am not sitting around waiting for life to happen to me, I am going out there and grabbing it by the bull horns (and on some especially cantankerous days grabbing it by the balls!)!
Now don't get the idea that I want to be some kind of super woman. I definitely do not want to be nor claim to be one of those. I just see super women as jamming their every day lives to the brim with stuff (important and maybe not so important stuff). I don't advocate jamming. I like to casually fill my days and weeks. Sort of how you casually fill you glass with vodka. You just pour until it looks right. ;)
My complicated life is about feeding my soul. Its the constant pursuit of the sweet raw nectar of the human experience. Its about deep, committed, unconditional relationships with pure souls be those of a bird, dog, or human. I want to leave a mark on this world, even if its small and inconsequential. More importantly, I want to make sure the world leaves a mark on me.
I think this revelation probably deserves a revamp of my blog. Can I really still be Plain-Simple-True? I am not sure. I am going to be thinking about what motto better reflects my constant pursuit of complication (with a little balance mixed in) and just might have to give my blog a makeover. Get ready, because the future is going to be a wild ride!
Case in point. I just quit (well my last day is August 31) my full time job (working in the environmental movement which I had dreamed of doing for a long time) in the middle of the biggest economic downturn since the Great Depression. I decided to go back to graduate school to become a librarian (because deep in my soul that is what I am). I still have all my real-life responsibilities like mortgage payments, electric bills and groceries. Not to mention the 12 pets (3 dogs, 3 parrots, 5 chickens and a canary) that I am responsible for and the burgeoning homestead I am trying to create in my backyard. Oh, I almost forgot, I also want (well I constantly flip flop on this one because I am scared and thrilled by the idea all at the same time) to have a baby during all of this hullabaloo. And, AND...my dear sweet husband (who supports and at times even encourages this lunacy) is gone about half the time since he is an airline pilot so all of this craziness is mostly left for me to coordinate.
Does that sound simple to you?
Yeah, me neither and hence why I feel my motto is being a bit hypocritical. Maybe, just maybe the simple life is overrated? I suppose by saying I was in constant pursuit of simplicity I meant that I was looking for balance in my complicated life not necessarily a simple life. I have to be honest, I gravitate to the complicated (and more importantly I need to admit to myself that I like it). My complicated life makes me feel that I am living my life to the fullest. I am not sitting around waiting for life to happen to me, I am going out there and grabbing it by the bull horns (and on some especially cantankerous days grabbing it by the balls!)!
Now don't get the idea that I want to be some kind of super woman. I definitely do not want to be nor claim to be one of those. I just see super women as jamming their every day lives to the brim with stuff (important and maybe not so important stuff). I don't advocate jamming. I like to casually fill my days and weeks. Sort of how you casually fill you glass with vodka. You just pour until it looks right. ;)
My complicated life is about feeding my soul. Its the constant pursuit of the sweet raw nectar of the human experience. Its about deep, committed, unconditional relationships with pure souls be those of a bird, dog, or human. I want to leave a mark on this world, even if its small and inconsequential. More importantly, I want to make sure the world leaves a mark on me.
I think this revelation probably deserves a revamp of my blog. Can I really still be Plain-Simple-True? I am not sure. I am going to be thinking about what motto better reflects my constant pursuit of complication (with a little balance mixed in) and just might have to give my blog a makeover. Get ready, because the future is going to be a wild ride!
Monday, August 15, 2011
Wish'n to Walk in Someone Else's Shoes?
One of my favorite blogs is An Apple a Day by Amy Merrick. I don't even remember how I stumbled upon her blog but I am thankful I did. There is an ethereal simplicity to her blog which is full of artfully taken photos and little interesting snippets about Amy's life on the east coast.
When I read Amy's blog, it reminds me of the life that I pictured in my head for myself. Living in a dynamic city, doing something interesting (maybe even creative) while wearing a beautiful vintage dress and taking drives out into the country. Did I mention she rides (or at least did) a motorcycle, too? It just seems so wild and free and somehow perfect. I am surprisingly at a loss of words trying to describe just the right images and feelings her blog conjures for me.
I am sure Amy doesn't see her life as romantic. She's just living life the only way she knows how. But here I sit romanticizing what her days must be like. It's not that I don't like my life because I do, but sometimes I sincerely feel that there is something missing or lacking and when I read Amy's blog I know what I am looking for is somewhere in there.
Its a little hard to feel interesting and creative wearing workout wear from JC Penny's while staring at my weed filled back yard about to jump into my car to head to the gym. My life seems a little predictable. Sometimes I feel like a suburban soccer mom, just without the kids. And that is the kicker. I am sure that I find Amy's life so attractive because above all the vintage goodness, she expresses a happiness and acceptance of exactly where she is in her life. She is at peace with herself. And boy do I want a piece of that pie!
At the crux of it, Amy also appears to live a simple life and I somehow gravitate to the complicated. So maybe my problem isn't lack of a vintage dress (although that might help) but my inability to find a peace within myself because of the complications I allow in my way. I am on the cusp of some major changes in my life which I think will get me a little closer to the peace and simplicity I seek. I have been on a long search for it (although I think I will always be to some extent) and am getting closer to my slice of pie. I am scared and excited about how this will change my life. Who will I be after all this is said and done? Perhaps a woman wearing a vintage dress doing something creative with her life? Or more importantly, a woman who knows how to sit back and enjoy the simple life?
Maybe...just maybe.
When I read Amy's blog, it reminds me of the life that I pictured in my head for myself. Living in a dynamic city, doing something interesting (maybe even creative) while wearing a beautiful vintage dress and taking drives out into the country. Did I mention she rides (or at least did) a motorcycle, too? It just seems so wild and free and somehow perfect. I am surprisingly at a loss of words trying to describe just the right images and feelings her blog conjures for me.
I am sure Amy doesn't see her life as romantic. She's just living life the only way she knows how. But here I sit romanticizing what her days must be like. It's not that I don't like my life because I do, but sometimes I sincerely feel that there is something missing or lacking and when I read Amy's blog I know what I am looking for is somewhere in there.
Its a little hard to feel interesting and creative wearing workout wear from JC Penny's while staring at my weed filled back yard about to jump into my car to head to the gym. My life seems a little predictable. Sometimes I feel like a suburban soccer mom, just without the kids. And that is the kicker. I am sure that I find Amy's life so attractive because above all the vintage goodness, she expresses a happiness and acceptance of exactly where she is in her life. She is at peace with herself. And boy do I want a piece of that pie!
At the crux of it, Amy also appears to live a simple life and I somehow gravitate to the complicated. So maybe my problem isn't lack of a vintage dress (although that might help) but my inability to find a peace within myself because of the complications I allow in my way. I am on the cusp of some major changes in my life which I think will get me a little closer to the peace and simplicity I seek. I have been on a long search for it (although I think I will always be to some extent) and am getting closer to my slice of pie. I am scared and excited about how this will change my life. Who will I be after all this is said and done? Perhaps a woman wearing a vintage dress doing something creative with her life? Or more importantly, a woman who knows how to sit back and enjoy the simple life?
Maybe...just maybe.
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