I am a Reader

I am a reader. Its the single most defining sentence to me. Reading, writing, books, stories is the essence of who I am, other than maybe loving animals. I remember the days when I was first learning to read. I was so frustrated because I could identify some words but not others and the inability to understand it all knowing there was something behind all those words was killing me. And then one day I could read...just like that.

I read everything I could get my hands on. I loved summers because then I could read without the distractions of math or science or any of the other silly subjects in school. The local libraries would have summer reading programs for the kids...always a map tracking the books you read and getting prizes at different milestones. I would always scream through the maps finishing before a quarter of summer was even up. The late summer nights with the cool wet feel of the swamp cooler running and my single light in my blue bedroom. I would laugh and cry with all the characters living hundreds of lives in just a few months. I miss those days so very much.

I had fantasies of living in a library (and if I hadn't gotten married at the Grand Canyon; a library would have been a very good second choice!). I dream often of being surrounded by books...all that potential just waiting to be let loose. I so desperately want to design a house that has bookshelves in every room, including bathrooms and kitchens! It would be an odd place for sure, but so very comforting to me. For now I suffice with three six foot book cases, although I need more.

I am not a person who collects things. I never quite understood the purpose of collecting objects, especially if for no real purpose. I tried with Breyer horses for a while, but by adulthood I got sick of packing them up each time I moved. Ah but my books are of another matter. So far 8 heavy boxes the last time we moved. And yet I acquire more. I can't stop. Its more than just having them...its stories and ideas all at my finger tips waiting to expose themselves to me at the moment I need them most.

Books are a need to me like food or water. I am convinced that my brain would shrivel up and die if I couldn't read books. The act of reading expands my mind exponentially and its a better high than any man made drug could ever conjure. Ah so maybe it truly is more than a need, its an addiction. An addiction that should never have a treatment to cure.

And yet here I am today wanting to read and not finding anything that is inspiring me at the moment. There is nothing worse than rummaging through my stacks and finding all sorts of books I still haven't read and yet not being inclined to read them. I was sitting there thinking I need a book that will speak to my soul. Ha! Like that book is just sitting there with a neon sign attached stating: "Life Changing Book Here" with an arrow attached. No such luck.

And so instead of reading I write. If not to be inspired by someone else's story I tell my own hoping it will inspire someone else.