Dreams of Horses

I have been dreaming of horses again. And not just what they look like, but what it feels like to gallop across a field. Its a feeling like nothing else I have experienced and often my dreams of horses bring back that sweet memory.

Ever since I can remember I wanted a horse. I know some will write it off as the typical girl fantasy and maybe it is, but it always felt special to me. When I started keeping a journal (way back when I was 11 years old) I wrote every day of how I wanted a horse and the things I would do once I got one. A horse and a dog was all that I ever wanted. I finally got the dog, but never the horse. I don't think my parents realized how much it would have meant to me, even changed me, had my dream come true. Every Christmas, I would pray (yes that's right, pray) that I would wake up and my parents would have surprised me with a horse. It never happened and although I was thankful for my gifts, I would have given every single one back just to have a horse.

I did get riding lessons. My best friend's mom had a sweet little pony named Simone who taught me about all things horses. I remember the days I had riding lessons were the happiest of all the days of the week. My mom even paid for riding lessons at a stable when we grew out of Simone. I remember this horse named Wally. He was a very big broad backed horse and riding him was like sitting on a comfy couch. I wanted nothing more to be a bona-fide horse person, but my mom stopped paying for lessons after my sister took a fall (a very mild fall). And that ended all things horses.

For a long time, I gave up on that dream. I didn't think it would ever happen and I had no friends that shared my passion so for a while it died. I took down all my horse posters and sold my model horses and put that part of my life behind me. Except, every time I saw a horse my stomach would do a little flip and thoughts of riding would bubble up so fresh and real my heart would ache.

Lately the heart ache over horses has come back and I am not sure why. I suppose with all this work on homesteading its only natural that I would think of horses at some point, but it feels deeper than that. I feel that some part of me will feel complete once I get the chance to share my life with a horse. I imagine myself riding through the countryside feeling a peace that nothing else in my life can give me. I clearly was born 150 years too late!

My life is so crazy busy right now that I can't think of a way to squeeze horses in too. It is Idaho so I am sure there is a thriving horse community just ready to be tapped into but I am a little scared too. I haven't ridden a horse since I was in my early teens. I am sure its like riding a bike, but I am an adult now. I can clearly see the dangers of horseback riding that I didn't see when I was young. Although, is it really any more dangerous than mountain biking?

I am a big believer that animals come into your life for a reason. I have a feeling there is a horse out there waiting to come into my life at just the right moment. I think I am back to praying that moment is sooner rather than later.